A progressive organisation requires employees and leaders to have productive conversations, especially when they have different views. But, instead of discussing it, we seem to avoid them altogether. However, there could be another option, in terms of engaging in conversational receptiveness. It means that the people who disagree should express willingness to discuss the same and examine each other's views. It requires a genuine interest in trying to understand others perspective.
Root causes.
One of the main reasons we avoid discussions is that we prefer to converse with those who have similar beliefs as we have. We often misunderstand that it will be unpleasant to engage with people who have differing views.
Also, when we do discuss with people with different views, we expect them to give up their viewpoint in favour of our viewpoint. Assuming we are right we fight for our perspective and try to win the discussion. This backfires leaving us to negotiate more difficult differences to be sorted out.
A better approach.
When we are more receptive to listen and understand differing positions, then we are perceived to be more persuasive. It also makes the other person more receptive. Again, people are ready to discuss in more depth when you see the other person more receptive.
Let us discuss conversational receptiveness and its attributes that would help in even the most heated disagreements and political conversations.
Acknowledge the other person's perspective: Acknowledge the other person's views indicates a willingness to engage in a discussion. This can typically begin by thanking the person with whom you disagree.
Saying thank you acknowledges that there is value in someone's perspective, even if you don't agree with her, and can lead to better conversations and more social behaviour. It can make others feel valued and trusted and thus open up lines of communications.
The reasoning encourages people to focus on the why and listen to each other and respond appropriately. It does not mean agreement but shows that it was listened and understood.
Hedge your claims: In our society assertiveness is praised while humility is considered shameful. However, indicating some uncertainty over our understanding shows receptiveness.
Phrase your discussions in positive terms: It is easy to switch to negatives to points the other person made that should not be heeded to. Use positive language which would be better received and signal an open atmosphere and is open for further discussions.
Point to areas of agreement: When we are on opposite sides of a discussion, it is easy to focus on everything we disagree with. It is also easy to become defensive and stop listening. Even when there are strong differences there must be some common ground which people agree to and it should be highlighted. Doing so makes the effort seem worthwhile and brings people together.
Doing so will enable us to engage in the most heated conversations productively. We can learn to be more receptive and this will prompt others to reciprocate. This enables people having the opposite points of view to engage in constructive conversation.
Disagreement Doesn’t Have to Be Divisive
by Francesca Gino HBR 2020/12
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