What Really Makes Us Resilient?

 

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Resilience is not connected to gender - men and women have the same amount of resilience. It is also not dependent on age. Nor does ethnicity or nationality have any contribution to resilience. There are two primary factors which lead to an interesting requirement.


Resilience is a reactive state of mind created due to exposure to suffering

People or their friends or relatives who have undergone a stressful incident were found to be more resilient. Resilience was a function of how intimately you have been exposed. The more the stress, the more resilient you become. 


This indicates that we become more resilient as we become more and more exposed to stressful conditions. It is when we are forced to face the reality, the way we respond to it that increases our resilience. The reality is less scary than the imagined incident and the way we face and cope with it shows what we are capable of and this itself strengthens us.


The more tangible the threat, the more resilient we become.

If you have been forced to absorb significant changes in your way of living, you increase the level of your resilience. The more challenges you cope with, the more resilient you become.


When you put these together you realise that we do not function well when the leaders gloss over reality, to make us feel better. This is far more damaging as we start imagining the worst.

Instead, it is better to tell the facts as it is. Discuss the adjustments that would be necessitated by this danger and inform how the changes will protect or minimise the impact. 


Leaders do not give enough credit to their employees to face uncertainty and cope with it. It should be understood that our response to unavoidable suffering is one of the main reasons that infuses a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. Suffering and difficulty must never be hidden and instead face them honestly and we will understand our greatest strength - resilience.


It is the unknown that is scary. Once the truth is known everyone will find their true power an overcome the situation and thereby become more resilient.




What Really Makes Us Resilient?

by Marcus Buckingham HBR 2020/09

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