How to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

 

Professor Christain Wheeler, professor of marketing at Stanford Graduate School Business discusses with Matt Abrahams, podcast host of Think fast, think smart about embracing failure and managing at the moment. "The less time you spend dwelling on your mistakes, the more mental energy you can devote to doing what you need to do at that moment" 

Everyone spends a lot of time planning and rehearsing how it will be executed. When things do not pan out as planned we get upset and affects their performance. 

So it is important to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. it is important that we respond appropriately. When one gets into such situations they need to make unplanned comments and this causes anxiety. When we get anxious about being anxious, one needs to manage it properly.

While teaching students on exercises to be in such a situation and respond with a sense of calm they can accept that they feel anxious but they allow the mind to manage the situation and not get upset about it. The less the time spent on dwelling on the mistakes, the more one can devote to doing what needs to be done at the moment.

It just acknowledging that getting nervous is natural and not something that is strange. Once they do this they can short circuit the anxiety they are worried about.

In the classes that are conducted Christian wheeler, students work on a sense of not fearing failure. 

The students are put in situations where the brain cannot compute all the necessary information. This way the students are encouraged to accept failure, accept it and move on.

Failure is a pathway to success. Through failure, one learns how to gain skills to do it right. Failure tells a person that they are operating outside their abilities and one needs to acquire new skills to manage it. 

The way people respond to the initial idea will affect the way one interacts. If the initial response is negative, then the next time one will raise the threshold before sharing it.

The words we use, especially the pronouns, indicate the relationships that one has with others. The use of we in conversations indicates closeness and a shared identity. Very simple things like, in an email starting the mail with the name increases the chances of opening the mail.

Make a connection with others.

When speaking stay in one place instead of wandering around and standstill. This gives tremendous power as a communicator. Move with intention and not randomly. This makes a very powerful statement of intent and focuses attention on the speaker.

Also, make extended eye contact with people. make contacts with specific people for a few seconds and then move to another person instead of a general sweep of the audience or looking into the far distance. This again makes the person pay attention to what one is saying and others do not feel neglected. 

To be a good communicator one needs to be a good observer, need to understand the audience and how they are responding. One needs to have the empathy to take their point of view and what they expect from the interaction. There are three ingredients to communication

• Attentiveness. You need to be attentive to the situation. 
• Vulnerability. 
• Openness

To engage in successful interaction with others on needs to be curious and listen to what the other person says without judgement and respond in a truly open way.

having an open approach, being open to failure, being attentive and responsive to the needs of the audience while communicating will make a big difference.

Managing in the Moment: How to Get Comfortable with

Being Uncomfortable

SBGSB podcast 2020/08